Back again

So the depression is back.

It has been creeping up for a couple of weeks now but it hasn't been anything like as bad as before and has been coming and going, so I didn't think it was really back, just maybe that I was a bit tired or something. 

I think it is probably related to the back and shoulder pain I have been having that is messing with my training, but not sure which was the cause and which the effect. Pain and tightness affects training, not training properly affects adrenaline and other hormone levels, imbalances cause more stress and more shaking, shaking increase pain and tightness, pain and tightness affects training....

But today is pretty much as bad as it has been for about 18 months. I have had the leg shakes for about 3 hours straight now and they aren't getting any less. This is in turn causing my hip and back and neck to get even tighter.

Being called fat yesterday certainly didn't help either. It has taken me a long time and a lot of hard work to get up to this weight and keep it stable. 

Having both cars and 2 bikes all break in the same day has been the final straw. No idea how I am getting to work tomorrow. Pretty sure that I don't even want to go, which is a bit stupid as I have been fine when I am at work.